Wow, I haven't been here in some time. It's been roughly six months. Not alot has happened since then. I haven't been drawing much, hence me not uploading alot of stuff here recently. And I can already tell this isn't going to be a long journal. It's raining outside and I'm tired and depressed. I think I might go to bed.

Isn't it funny how life screws you over? My life has been full of shit. All my close friends know this. But I take what I'm given and I fucking smile. But I can only take so fucking much. I know no one's life is perfect, and there are probably a whole lot of people out there who have had a worse life than I have, as a matter of fact I know there are. I try not to complain because let's face it, no one likes a whiner. Besides I hate hearing people complain, most people anyway. There are only a few choice friends of mine that I don't mind complaining to me.

I just can't stand how life plays out sometimes. It just pisses me off so fucking bad. Because I have something so wonderful in my life now, but I know it won't last. I want it to, I never want it to end. But it will, just like everything. Everthing ends eventually. I've come to terms with that. It's just such a hard pill to swallow. I really dont' want to think about it. But I can't stop it. There's nothting I will be able to do when the time comes. No matter how much I want things to stay like they are now. But I can't change what is already going to happy, what has already been put into motion. I just wish there was an easier way to cope with it. Thinking about it makes me cry so much. And I begin to wonder how many tears I've cried thought out my life time. All I can do is cherish every second I spend with him, and watch him leave with a smile on my face, even though I won't be smiling inside. But I won't let him see me cry, I wont' let his last look at me be me crying. I refuse. All I can do is cherish everything he gives me, everything he makes me feel and hope that he does the same.

I find it easier to type these kinds of things out, it makes me feel better. I'm not sure why.

It's been offically a month since I've uploaded anything here. I've just been so freakin busy with school and everything I haven't had much time with anything else. I have been doodling, but nothing too serious, thought I do have a new character now. I'll be drawing a pic of her soon and uploading it.

I FINALLY got all those cursed essays done, which is a good thing becuase they're all due tomorrow. So now I'll actually have some free time for recreational drawing, which is perfectly fine with me, cause I've been getting some rather interesting ideas. And not being about to draw them irkes me to death.

The essays weren't that hard to write, I Just have to get a general idea down first before the words start to flow. I also had to do a book report, but that wasn't hard at all. All I have to do now is finish up the drawing that goes with it. Which I will be posting in here after I complete it.

I know I haven't been uploading many things of lately. I haven't really had the time what with school and all. You think it wouldn't be so bad but think again. I really have to pull my grades up. What happened was I got two of my permanent widsom teeth pulled a few weeks ago and I was perscribed a pain killer, which kinda of put me out of it. I was taking them at school, because they would wear off and it made me a bit....well out of it. And it was rather hard to pay attention in class. That's when I started to fail. So now I need to pick my grades back up before next nine weeks. Or else I'll have the computer taken away and that just wouldn't be fun at all.